Last night I discovered oxycodone gives me anxiety. I had insomnia for the first time. I was trying to take deep breaths to slow my heart rate but it really wasn't working. I tried to shit again at 12, and listened to haight ashbury night sounds through ethel's window, felt my hand start to wake up from the nerve block they gave me after surgery. My hand was twitching like crazy and no longer felt like a solid block of meat. Now, I am taking hydrocodone and feel as relaxed as can be. The pain is not bad, but it's there. I haven't shat since Monday and this worries me. The first team of anesthesiologists didn't successfully numb up my arm before surgery, they were a trio of three young men and the first one was very sweet, unassuming, I made him very nervous. My pre-op nurse's name was Letty. Dr. Lisa Lazzara put in two pins to stabilize the head of my radial bone, it turned out to be in four pieces. She used a cadaver ligament to re-construct my completely torn medial collateral ligament (this is one of the ligaments that stabilizes your elbow). I am hoping the person who donated their ligament to me is a professional baseball player or a left-handed elbow-dancing prodigy. I am waiting for this person's memories to infiltrate my dreams. I discovered I needed surgery on Monday, then went under the knife Tuesday. I broke/snapped my elbow Thursday night. The injury happened at a charity event at the El Rio. I was lube-wrestling with my older sister Lauren. I was in a black turtleneck snap-on onesy I got at the bargain barn in santa cruz for ten cents. She was whupping my ass, and then I heard a crack.